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[15 Sep 2009|06:54am] |
I promised myself a long, long time ago.
NEVER AGAIN.
And here I am... again.
I forgot how much it hurts.
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[12 Sep 2009|09:22pm] |
i know what I want
How do I get it?
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| My life |
[02 Sep 2009|11:12pm] |
is nearly under control.
At least the school part anyway.
I'm slowly starting to get a feel for the pattern.
Slowly starting to figure out how to make this work.
Not one sip of alcohol since school started.
NOT ONE.
I finished all my online shit early.
From now till Monday all I have to worry about it work and how much money I shouldn't be spending.
*knock on wood*
This semester just may not kill me.
Yet.
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[29 Aug 2009|12:53am] |
I wasn't prepared
Probably because I didn't want to admit the summer was over
& now I'm stressed. And unorganized. And lots of other things I don't like being.
But I'm trying to change.
Trying to be responsible.
Here's to attempting motivation to make all the time and money I'll be spending in the next 4 months worthwhile.
...fml.
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| Stressed |
[23 Aug 2009|09:28pm] |
Good god I have TOO much to do tomorrow.
Lets drive from Tarpon to St. Pete to Tampa back to St. Pete again and eventually home where I will get some Zzz's.
I'm nervous (as usual) about my ASL class. Flagler traumatized me I think.
I just looked over my syllabus to just ONE of my eduction classes and it alone requires 50 intern hours. FIFTY. How the FUCK am I supposed to balance 18 credit hours, 2 jobs and 50 intern hours? That doesn't even account for the community interactive hours for ASL of the volunteer hours I'll need for my OTHER education class.
AND on top of everything? MY PLANNER IS MISSING.
The one I don't even like that much.
panic mode.
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[21 Aug 2009|03:56pm] |
This summer has been completely ridiculous.
In all the right ways.
Just what I needed to not regret anything later.
Monday is only 2 days away.
Time to grow up, Nicole.
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[06 Aug 2009|07:18am] |
The other day I was I was talking to someone and I was like
"yeah, I mean... I work 7 days a week. 20 hours at Panera and 28 and my other job at least... but I still manage to do everything I want"
".... you work 50 hours a week?"
.... When the fuck did this happen?
AND HOW AM I STILL BROKE?
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[05 Aug 2009|07:14am] |
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.
Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.
There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.
We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
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[03 Aug 2009|09:44am] |
Trying to get my life back on track.
Still homeless but not my mom is helping me out and I think I'm going to be okay.
I'll have to commute for awhile because living by yourself costs more money than I have/make.
But we're trying to find a place and there's some studios downtown for under 500. I might not have internet or cable and I'll never use my air conditioning, but so begins the life of being broke.
I'm not drinking as much.
I took all my alcohol and disbursed into the mouths of my friends last Thursday night.
Getting trashed at a min. of once a week is ridiculous.
Cut it out.
I'm going to the Keys with Mandy her brother and his girlfriend thing.
All the plans finalized yesterday.
Her parents are paying for our RESORT, gas, one nights dinner at a fancy restaurant and snorkeling on the reef. :] It's going to be a glorious way to end the summer.
Jackie comes back today/tomorrow.
It'll be nice to spend some time with her before she leaves and comes back a different person.
I still work 7 days a week but I'm SERIOUSLY quitting Panera ASAP... I think.
I can't handle full time working at 2 jobs and 17 credit hours. I'll EXPLODE.
Also: I miss having a boyfriend/Robert
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[03 Aug 2009|12:31am] |
I had this friend who listened to good music and showed me how life should be lived
I ought to write* them a thank you card.
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[14 Jul 2009|08:23am] |
found a place to live
&750 a month for a 2 bed 1 bath apartment on the outskirts of downtown and old northeast...
Took me a car ride to get over the fact that it wasn't a house by Bryan and Jimmys.
Now I'm excited about getting it.
But not excited about being broke.
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[13 Jul 2009|11:48am] |
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Finding a place to live is impossible
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[06 Jul 2009|09:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Tings Tings: Great DJ |
] |
So of COURSE my plans didn't go as pre-planned.
But I FOR SURE didn't hate my life.
Thursday night was my first sober one in too long. Just hung out with Mandy Brian and Billy.
Mandy got tired and I drove her home. Hung out with Miguel till 2:30 and called it a night.
Friday I got a phone call from Stewart Collins.
We shopped and I bought some things I don't like very much. I'll be returning them later today.
His (ex)boyfriend beat the shit out of him (again) So a single Stewart, Brian, Mandy and myself went and explored (ga)Ybor Friday night. I dance danced a LOT and met a LOT of gay best friends at Honeypot during the drag show. G bar didn't have drags as much as a it was a drag (dyke night for the lose). Ended up at Czar where there was good muzak and good times. It's 3 a.m. and I crash at Mandys.
work 7 - 4 (which = 7 to close) 4th of July. 10 hours of work later I go to Mandy's and eat lots of pizza. Her parents were celebrating the holiday by baking TWELVE pizzas from scratch. They had a list of toppings (all MSG free) and me and Mandy got to make whatever we wanted for dinner. Get dressed. Drive to St. Pete beach. Pick up Jamie. Drop off Jamie on 30th Ave. Pick up Miguel. Pick up beer and pizza bites. Drive to Jen's.
Jen's was cool. Travis was there and he reminds me of Nickypoo only blond and in a fraternity. I'd like for them to meet one day because I think they would blow each other's minds. We drank a lot and lost at (10 cup) beer pong. Jen's boyfriend reminds me of Rob. He let me light the fireworks (even though I was trashed) Then Mandy, Miguel and myself jumped in her pool while the rest of the party did whatever it is they were doing inside. Miguel got attacked by Jen's dog and then Jen got mad so we left.
Ended up at St. Pete beach where we were free and everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
Lost our clothes. Found our clothes. Tried to find a place to sleep.
got one hour of sleep.
yesterday I worked too long (even though I got out 2 hours early)
Came home to my sister back from China. talked.
Fell asleep at 7 pmz and just woke up an hour ago.
I'm sad though. Because I can't live like this forever.
Eventually I'm just going to have to grow up.
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[01 Jul 2009|07:33pm] |
This weekend has the perfect set up for a fantastic let down.
Way too excited ya know?
Tomorrow get my drink on with Jenn at Bishop (laddiiees drink FO FREE!)
Friday baking cupcakes/FIRST DAY OFF WORK in like... three weeks?!
Saturday work TOO much (7-5) and then 4th of July party (word on the street is that there will be a slip n'slide)
Sunday work 7 - 4. Collapse.
I don't like my new job much.
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[30 Jun 2009|09:54am] |
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how am I working this much... AND I'M STILL BROKE?!
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[23 Jun 2009|10:52pm] |
I missed Brian's birthday
and I kinda feel like a complete tool.
Or at least like an awful friend.
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[23 Jun 2009|08:58am] |
I've spent the past few days working, and then seeing my family.
It's been kinda nice. I haven't spent this much time with them in awhile.
Went to Carrabbas for the first time in like, 10 years last night and it was out of this fckn world. What have I been missing all my life?
I have zero dollars until tomorrow
And I have no idea if I will even have time to get my paycheck in the bank before 4 because I start my new job tomorrow! eeee. sup nervous?
also: I did the math and between my two work schedules I won't have a day off for 22 days starting last Thursday.
It's gonna suck.
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[20 Jun 2009|10:06pm] |
I got a real job
starting Wednesday I'll be a regular business woman.
I even get dental
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| I just can't |
[10 Jun 2009|11:28pm] |
win.
I think it's about time I just accept that I have failed my parents and start figuring out my life for me.
I'm just scared to do it alone, ya know?
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